Bored and ill

well i spent a few hours this morning doing my work in study / playing minecraft for 90 % of the time. and i realised just how bored with school i am. every day its pretty much the same thing. its gotten to the point where my english coursework has been sitting in my desktop for months waiting for me to do something with it. i want to give up and go out and get a job to try to fulfill my new years resolution of moving out; but of course that would close the door to uni and to a more prosperous future.

i think once i get out of sixth form i will be completely done with education; i want to get a full time job with some good pay and enjoy life before i have to settle down. unfortunately i will suffer from the bad grades i got during my time as a GCSE student. i dont know what brought on this sudden urge to finnish with my studies but it is strong.

i was surprised to see how cheap some flats are in this area when i looked at it on google; with the cheapest being luton (i wonder why) my aspiration to move out has become a lot more real to me, i will however be forced to have a flat mate to help bear the burdon of bills but my goals are not unrealistic (which is a start). ideally i would like a place next to the river but such appartments are rather costly. to be honest though i dont really care so long as it has electrisity and is mine; a place where i can be myself and do what i want.

someone asked me "wouldnt you rather just get a car?"... the answer, in short is no; the idea of living by myself is too attractive.

there are i admit, things i will miss when that happens though. The ball of fur (my dog) snoring gently by my side being up there with the things that i will miss most. but there are also otherm non material things that will be sorely missed too. Such things include the lack of resposability that i have enjoyed for much of my life up to this point. the things that i will not be able to afford when i move out, like the extremely good connection to the internet i  have at the moment. gaming will become very difficult if i have to downgrade.

but the more i look at the situation the more i see that i need to move on from this life of ignorance and comfort that have defined me for so long. i want to experience the simple pleasure of truely owning the roof above my head. i want to have the ability to do what i want (within reason) and not have to answer to my parents or any other of my 'peers'. however i feel i dwell on this too much.

one thing that has really caught my attention recently is just how shit weekend television is. it seems that Jeremy Kyle rules the airaves with his entertainment that he likes to call therapy, how many conflicts have been truely resolved on that damn show? despite me being a die hard trekkie even channel one (before it dissapeared from TV) has been pissing me off so much. im all for a 'Voyager' marathon but all they do is play the exact same episodes that they played during the week; all it is is them trying to make more money by giving the people less. the same goes for E4 and 'Scrubs'

i should probably go now, i have a very tired doggy lying across me that really needs to be getting to bed. i too should also be getting to bed. till next time...